Relationships are All in Your Head
This is the last day of the year in which I said goodbye to my last and special aunt and my last and special uncle. As the calendar flips to 2023 tonight, my thoughts are trying to tell me that I am leaving them behind in 2022.
When my mom died in 2019; and when my brother died in 2021; I had the same thought on the last day of each of those years, too.
That thought is very upsetting; of course it is. And it makes me feel so sad and wretched every time I go there.
What if I’m not leaving them behind at all? What if I worked on believing what I’ve learned from life coaching:
My relationships are all in my head.
Even when they were alive, my relationships with my aunt, my uncle, my brother and my mom were in my head.
Sounds crazy, right?
Except it isn’t.
See if you can follow me here. Each thought I believe about someone creates a feeling. The feeling I create is what influences my relationships with them.
For example:
When my mom was alive, I used to think, “my mom really knew how to love.”
That made me smile so hard my face hurt.
I felt lucky to have a mom like that.
And, when I felt lucky about having a mom who really knew how to love:
I remembered all the ways she had of making me feel loved
I was inspired
I tried to emulate her
I told my people more often that I love them
And when I did in those things, I created an amazing, close relationship with her.
Even though she is now physically gone, I still think, “my mom really knew how to love.”
Thinking that thought still makes me smile until my face hurts. I still feel so lucky, and I still behave in the same ways:
I remember all the ways she had of making me feel loved
I am inspired
I try to emulate her
I tell my people more often that I love them
I create an amazing, close relationship with her.
Exactly the same.
So, this evening, I am reminding myself that I am not leaving Aunt Mimi and Uncle Winky behind in 2022. All I have to do is to think the same things about them that I always thought. And I will keep them alive in my head - and in my heart - forever.
Wishing you a happy, healthy and prosperous New Year!
