Damaged Goods?

Oh boy, I’ve got a good one today.

I awoke this morning with my hands swollen up like rubber glove balloons.

YIKES!

I got out of bed at the usual time and opened my pill case to take my thyroid pill and my fish oil gel tab,

That’s when I noticed that I had completely run out of my hydrochloro-blah blah blah, the pretty blue capsule that makes me tinkle like a horse. One of about 12 meds I take each day (they don’t all make me tinkle; oy, can you imagine??).

Oh wow. So, that’s why my hands are swollen. And then think “I guess I really NEED this medication.” And thinking that, I immediately felt

SCARED.

I opened the Walgreens app on my phone to reorder the blue pill. The first thing that came up on the red and white screen was a message suggesting that I “be a bone marrow donor!”

And I think, “No one wants my bone marrow. No one wants my blood. No one wants anything from this body…”

I AM DAMAGED GOODS.

Aaaaand my brain is off and running!

“That’s why I wasn’t ‘allowed’ to have biological children.”

“I take so many fricking* pills every day. There is so much wrong with me.”

“Why am I even an organ donor on my drivers’ license? No one wants my organs!”

And as I’m in this spin I start to feel worse and worse.

I cry.

I get quiet.

I can’t focus.

I don’t feel like doing anything.

I want to stay in bed with the covers over my head.

Those thoughts got me feeling

DEPRESSED.

Now Dear Reader, I am a life coach, and I teach self coaching, and I practice self coaching. so I know I got this.

That Big Thought “I am damaged goods,” and all of its sister, brother, cousin, thoughts that add up to that mother of them all, are

COMPLETELY OPTIONAL.

Wait, WHAT?? (That’s your part, Dear Reader.)

I remind my bad*ss, self-coaching, self. It is just a sentence in my head.

IT IS NOT A FACT…

…no matter how much I believe (or want to believe) it’s true.

That’s right. The number of medications I take, the fact that my hands will swell if I don’t take the blue one, are

COMPLETELY NEUTRAL.

They don’t say anything about me until

I ADD THE DRAMA WITH MY THOUGHTS.

Such great news! I get to choose my thoughts. I get to choose my feelings.

Wait, WHAT?? (You, again.)

So today, I am going to choose to think, “I am so healthy when I take these medications.”

And, when I think that thought, it totally shifts my feeling from depressed to…

GRATEFUL.

And that’s exactly where I want to be.