Be Your Valentine

Okay, so it’s here - February 14, 2024.

AHHHH!

Now, February 14 is just another day on the calendar. And, it happens to be the date that has been designated as Valentine’s Day.

It doesn’t have to be an annual day from hell. You don’t have to hate it. You don’t have to feel bad about it.

And you for sure don’t have to think there is something wrong with you if you don’t have a date for the day.

If you’ve been following me for a while, you probably know what I’m going to say next: there is nothing special nor anything bad about Valentine’s Day, in and of itself.

IT’S JUST A DATE ON THE CALENDAR. IT IS NEUTRAL. IT HAS NO POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE MEANING AT ALL.

Aaaand, your brain is off and running!

Wait, WHAT?? (That’s you.)

I know you want to argue with me. Now’s your chance:

“But Arla, it DOES have meaning, and it sucks! And I suck, and the world sucks because…”

“But Arla, it is such a special day because it means I’m loved and my husband/boyfriend/girlfriend/wife is going to take me out for dinner …”

THESE ARE NOT FACTS. THEY ARE YOUR THOUGHTS.

You see, all of the drama around the day is created by you, my lovely; by your thoughts.

And your thoughts are just sentences in your brain ABOUT Valentine’s Day – no matter how much you might want to believe they are true and factual.

Your thoughts about Valentine’s Day create your feelings about Valentine’s Day. Oh, yes, they do.

For example, I might think, “I’m a loser on Valentine’s Day because no one loves me and I don’t have a boyfriend and I’m not married and no one is going to give me flowers.”

Those thoughts may make me feel…

…UNWORTHY AND UNLOVABLE.

How do you feel when you think such thoughts about Valentine’s Day? About yourself?

AND, HEY! THIS IS ALL GOOD NEWS!

Wait, WHAT?? (That’s your part again.)

You see, these unhelpful thoughts are:

COMPLETELY OPTIONAL.

You get to choose how you want to feel by choosing the thought that makes you feel that way.

So when I think (and believe) the thought:

“Valentine’s Day is just another day, and my not having a boyfriend (or not being married or not receiving flowers, etc.) doesn’t say anything about me,”

I FEEL EMPOWERED AND I FEEL GOOD ABOUT MYSELF!

Oh, and I can also be happy for the people who did get flowers.

Listen, nowhere is it written that there is something – anything – wrong with someone who is on their own on Valentine’s Day. It is just a date on the calendar until…

WE ADD THE DRAMA AND STIR.

So, today, why not try something different? Something that serves you. Rather than beating yourself up, try on a new, believable thought.

Find the thought that fits; that helps you feel a little better; and practice it a few times throughout the day.

So you’re ready when you need it.